. Peiriannydd #6: A Comedy of Errors 9/15
. By Barbara Goldstein PhD
.
. TEASER
INT. LONG HALLWAY
The hall is most unusual: on the right it's uneven stone with
moss and water trickling down, but the floor, ceiling and
other wall are bulkhead. The hall also isn't straight but
meanders as if outside, following the rock wall.
Two men walk down the hallway arguing. The taller of the two,
Sharman, is a bit overweight, the shorter, Alph, more wiry.
They both seem to be in their forties, and there are hints in
the way they argue that they're more than friends.
SHARMAN
Don't blame me for losing
everything on Pluto!
ALPH
Who else do I blame? You hired that
scoundrel who got the attention of
the Shadow Proclamation! I told you
not to hire him!
SHARMAN
Forget about him! Who called the
Shadow Proclamation? That's where
the damage was done.
ALPH
It must have been the Doctor.
The hall becomes all bulkhead.
SHARMAN
No; it wasn't him. I hacked the
Library security footage.
ALPH
Only people from the advanced
species know that the Shadow
Proclamation exist.
SHARMAN
Could there be a new player?
ALPH
Then it must have been the Rani.
She swore she'd get even with us
after we double-crossed her.
SHARMAN
She'd never stoop to calling the
Shadow Proclamation!
ALPH
There were two women -
The Hallway ends at -
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
It's of the era of first Doctor and not in good repair.
Sharman turns to Alph as they enter.
SHARMAN
How do you know about the two
women?
ALPH
I hacked your hack, and one of them
had voluminous hair like the Rani.
SHARMAN
But that's the one he discarded.
ALPH
The Rani could easily have
outwitted that oaf!
SHARMAN
That other woman became his point
of interest.
ALPH
She not the Rani! Way wrong energy.
SHARMAN
I've seen some wild regenerations.
Alph shrugs. Sharman does things on the console, then checks
a screen.
SHARMAN (CONT'D)
Damn! The one with the hair is
human. Time traveler - last stop
twenty-first century Earth. Bloody
hell: they both came from there.
ALPH
Earth? That's the Doctor's favorite
planet, and neither of us has ever
fared well with him.
SHARMAN
I know we swore we'd never go there
again, but it took us nearly two
hundred years to create that stash
on Pluto. I want everything of
value those two woman have.
ALPH
Humans don't call the Shadow
Proclamation.
SHARMAN
Time traveling ones might.
ALPH
I don't wanna go to Earth.
SHARMAN
You're right! I hate Earth, too.
For good measure, I'll screw up its
history. I'm not called the Time
Meddler for nothing.
.
. END OF TEASER
. ACT I
INT. I-LIFE CAFE, OLD NOOK - NIGHT
Gordon, Perianne, Cherry and Jack Hardin, Wynn, Elaine Rose
and several others occupy the hard hewn wood section of the
cafe. A couple of the others play darts as usual. The
Hardins, Gordon and one Other play cards. Elaine Rose is
kibitzing. Perianne and Wynn examine an Engineering diagram.
Gordon's in a sports coat, Perianne a simple but attractive
dress.
The cafe still has too loud music in the bkg. with a much
younger group in the modernized section.
PERIANNE
This is an innovative design, Wynn,
but you're going to have stress-
fracture issues
(she points)
- here and here.
WYNN
I was worried about that, but the
numbers said it was safe.
Wynn pulls up something on his phone and shows it to
Perianne. Perianne studies what she's been shown.
To the side, Elaine Rose becomes animated. She taps Gordon on
the back and points. He looks surprised which gets the
Hardins and the Other player to orient, and they also get
floored looks.
PERIANNE
Your figures don't take into
account the movement from traf -
Elaine Rose hurries over to Perianne and Wynn and interrupts.
ELAINE ROSE
Look who just walked in!
Wynn and Perianne orient, and Wynn takes on a dismayed look.
WYNN
Myra Glynn! Trouble personified.
Although Myra Glynn is the same age - mid-thirties - as
Gordon and his group of friends, from a distance, she blends
in with the young twenty-somethings in the main room.
Myra has on a mini skirted dress, a lot of make-up and a hair
do too trendy for her age.
ELAINE ROSE
(to Perianne)
She used to be my competition for
Gordon's affections in high school.
PERIANNE
She didn't respect your
relationship?
ELAINE ROSE
She lives in here own little
magical world, and there's no
telling her what she doesn't want
to hear.
Perianne looks a bit confused.
WYNN
If she's here with Gordon in mind,
she'll try to steam roll over you.
Myra arrives and goes straight to Gordon, leans over and
kisses him squarely on the mouth. The kiss would have gone on
who-knows how long, but Gordon quickly pulls back. Perianne
is startled.
MYRA
You taste as good as I remember,
Gordie-love.
Gordon is taken aback, pushes back his chair and gets up to
get further from Myra.
GORDON
Myra Glynn! The last I heard you
were traveling the world.
MYRA
I've been around it several times.
Daddy's been so generous.
ELAINE ROSE
What brings you home?
Myra re-invades Gordon's space and puts an arm around his
waist.
MYRA
I'm bored, so I came home. Maybe I
need to settle down.
Gordon extracts himself from Myra and goes to Perianne. He
gives her a beseeching look. Elaine Rose catches the look.
GORDON
Don't look at me if you're thinking
of settling down. I'm already
taken.
MYRA
So Elaine finally trapped you?
GORDON
No -
Gordon pulls Perianne up from her seat and puts an arm
loosely around her.
GORDON (CONT'D)
I'd like you to meet my fiance,
Perianne.
Gordon's whole crowd and Perianne understand what Gordon is
doing and don't react. Perianne rises and put her hand out to
shake hands with Myra.
PERIANNE
How nice to meet you, Myra.
Myra doesn't shake Perianne's hand, but instead looks at her
other hand for a ring.
MYRA
I don't see a ring.
GORDON
It's being custom made.
Myra doesn't want to believe it. She says it kiddingly but
really isn't kidding.
MYRA
Maybe I can change your mind.
EXT. OUTER SPACE OVER EARTH
A beat up tin can hovers over the planet.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph look at data on various screens. Frustrated -
SHARMAN
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
ALPH
For now, let's be patient.
SHARMAN
It will give me time to come up
with the perfect plan to ruin Earth
history.
Alph rolls his eyes.
INT. MINI-T
Gordon and Perianne are in their normal attire. Perianne is
looking at readings on the console and frowning.
PERIANNE
Something's wrong with the Mini-T.
Her readings are all over the
place.
GORDON
Can you run a diagnostic?
PERIANNE
It's not working.
Gordon looks at various screens at the console.
GORDON
I'll skip work to help if you like.
PERIANNE
No. Go on. This appears to be an
engineering problem, and I'm the
Engineer.
GORDON
Actually it looks like a metabolic
problem.
Perianne looks at Gordon strangely.
PERIANNE
What makes you say that?
GORDON
I really don't know. Something that
came to me looking at the panels.
Gordon shrugs and departs through the exit.
Perianne moves to a different station at the console and
studies the readings. She frowns.
PERIANNE
He's right!
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph are propped against each other half asleep
when their console starts beeping insistently. The fumble
over each other waking up which ends in a small slap fight
which ends with them both looking at each other indignantly.
Then they orient to the persistent beeping, find the right
button and push it. The beeping stops and a map that shows
the British Isles is seen on a screen.
ALPH
It's reading the signal of the blue
crystal from Metebilis 3!
SHARMAN
That was in our stash on Pluto!
We've found them.
Sharman and Alph pull levers and push buttons on the console
preparing to land.
EXT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE - DAY
A beat-up panel van materializes in the mine parking lot near
the mine entrance. Tardis noises are heard. Sharmin and Alph
come out the back of the panel truck, tentatively looking
around. Alph has an instrument in his hand.
SHARMAN
Where the hell are we?
ALPH
A copper mine - British Isles.
SHARMAN
What is the Metebilis doing here?
Is it buried?
ALPH
It's below ground, but it's moving.
The mine's interfering with more
detail.
SHARMAN
Something's wrong here! Neither of
those women looked like miners.
ALPH
So, we wait and see who comes out.
Sharman is not happy with the idea of waiting.
INT. MINI-T
Every panel door on the Mini-T console that can be is open.
Perianne frantically goes from area to area checking readings
with her Engineering watch and looks generally alarmed.
PERIANNE
Omigod there's an energy build-up!
I'm so sorry Mini-T. I don't
understand what's happening to you.
The Mini-T shudders violently enough that Perianne has to
fight to stay upright.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Baby, can you tell me what's wrong?
This time the whole Mini-T briefly stretches and contorts,
ending in a shudder. Perianne hangs onto the console to not
fall.
Perianne shakes her head to clear it. She hurried returns to
checking gauges and screens. Suddenly she has the "aha"
moment.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
You're going to have your first
growth spurt!
The Mini-T contorts again and a ripple of physical change
starts then retracts. The Mini-T starts the ripple of change
again, and then there's a small, bright explosion that throws
Perianne to the floor.
EXT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE - DAY
Orienting.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph are again dozing against each other as the
closing whistle goes off.
The two men again jostle with each other as they wake which
ends in a small slap fight and indignant looks.
In that time people pour out the mine gate to cars and
busses.
Alph scrambles for his machine and checks the readings.
Sharman watches the crowd on the Tardis screen.
ALPH
There are too many of them!
SHARMAN
Any sign of the Metebilis crystal?
ALPH
Not so far, but when I do, we're
going to have a hard time
pinpointing who.
SHARMAN
There are hardly any women; that
should make it easy!
ALPH
Don't tell me this is going to be
easy. I'm still getting mine
interference.
EXT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE - DAY
Amid the throng Gordon heads to his car.
Alph and Sharman appear in the door of the old panel truck.
Alph's machine reacts as Gordon nears them. They look around.
ALPH
It's near!
SHARMAN
I don't see any women at all!
ALPH
(pointing)
It's one of that group over there.
SHARMAN
Which one?!
ALPH
I can't tell.
Alph scrambles out the back of the panel truck with his
machine in hand and follows the group of men Gordon is among.
Sharman exits and catches up with Alph.
As men peal off to their cars, Alph winnows out people and
when Gordon turns to get into his car, leaving the group,
Alph reads it. He points to Gordon.
ALPH (CONT'D)
That's him.
SHARMAN
Who the hell is he? He wasn't on
the Library footage!
Gordon pops into his sports car and before Sharman and Alph
can do anything about it, drives off.
SHARMAN (CONT'D)
We've got to follow him!
Sharman and Alph hurry back to the panel truck. And beats
later, despite Workers still leaving, the panel truck
disappears. A couple Workers freak.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Alph and Sharman track Gordon on a console screen.
EXT. GORDON'S TOWNHOUSE - DAY
Orienting: Upscale row of town houses. Gordon pulls up to one
on an end, waits while his garage door goes up and pulls in.
INT. TOWN HOUSE - DAY
Gordon comes in a door next to his kitchen. He's looking at
mail which he tosses on a counter.
He goes up the stairs to his -
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
The room is large, well coordinated with masculine furniture
but well-personalized. There is a full sport trophy case
still adorned with school-day pennants. There is a corner
with sports equipment. There is a huge case of geological
samples with a table with samples out and a powerful
microscope. There is a bookcase full of books interspersed
with a few childhood toys.
Gordon enters, goes to a blank area on a wall and a beat
later a door appears, Gordon puts his hand on a plate, and
the door opens.
INT. MINI-T
Gordon comes out his bedroom door and immediately sees
Perianne unconscious below. He misses that the room has
widened by a quarter and races down the stairs.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
The signal stops and both Sharman and Alph are shocked.
SHARMAN
Where did it go? Where did the
signal go?
Alph checks equipment.
ALPH
It's not our equipment.
SHARMAN
Then what could stop the signal?
ALPH
The Metebilis crystal was
destroyed.
SHARMAN
No! Lead?
ALPH
No. This can read through lead. The
only substances I can come up with
that can block it are all
Gallifreyian.
SHARMAN
By the Gods - going into a Tardis?
ALPH
Yes.
SHARMAN
He's the latest reincarnation of
the Doctor!
ALPH
No! Why would he be working at a
mine?
SHARMAN
I don't know, but the Doctor had
the Metebilis crystal before. It
all makes sense.
ALPH
Then we need to leave here and
leave this alone.
SHARMAN
No, he cost us our stash!
ALPH
Do you really want to risk our
freedom?
That does give Sharman pause, but it's clear getting revenge
tugs more strongly. Alph shakes his head.
INT. MINI-T
The greater breadth of the console room is due to an enlarged
console that fishtails further to each side as well, creating
several new work stations.
Gordon still sees none of it as he carefully feels for a
pulse on Perianne's neck - relief. Gordon carefully
straightens Perianne and raises her upper torso, holding her.
She starts to stir; she has a gash on her forehead.
GORDON
Take it slow. You were out.
Perianne sits up further under her own power. Her hand goes
to her wound. Gordon gets a handkerchief from his pocket and
gives it to her.
GORDON (CONT'D)
How did you hit your head?
PERIANNE
(a little dazed)
I fell. The Mini-T contorted, and I
fell. I'm okay, now.
GORDON
I think the Mini-T is having her
first growth spurt.
PERIANNE
Yes, but how did you know?
Gordon shakes his head. He and Perianne are distracted as
they see the larger console and console area, and looking up,
they see two hallways, one between each bedroom and the
sitting room. Perianne and Gordon look in awe.
.
. END OF ACT I
. ACT II
EXT. OUTDOOR CAFE - DAY
Elaine Rose and Myra have lunch at an outdoor table. Myra
takes too much wine after a bite of food and comes across
mildly inebriated.
MYRA
How long has Gordon been engaged to
that Perianne person?
ELAINE ROSE
Not long, but they've been together
for over seven months.
MYRA
What are my chances of busting it
up?
ELAINE ROSE
Why would you want to do that to
Gordon? He's happy.
MYRA
I'll make him happier.
Elaine Rose shakes her head. A waitress refills water and
wine glasses, then moves on.
ELAINE ROSE
Perianne's no push over, Myra.
She's an Aeronautic Engineer.
MYRA
Gordon would never choose an
Engineer!
ELAINE ROSE
He did, and that's why I think this
is the real thing.
MYRA
Then I won't try to alienate his
feelings, I break hers.
(more to herself)
I'll get her to think he's cheated.
When she falsely accuses him, I'll
have the opening to get him to
distrust her...
ELAINE ROSE
We're you that calculating against
me in our school days?
MYRA
Back then, I was developing my
strategies.
Elaine Rose shakes her head again.
INT. MINI-T
Perianne, now with a bandage on her forehead, and Gordon
study the new console.
PERIANNE
The console is slowing becoming
stations by discipline -
(she points))
Engineering, Bio-Med, Universal
Geography, each with more detailed
functions.
GORDON
And the layout?
Perianne consults the console and a large map comes up on the
main screen. She points.
PERIANNE
The back end of our U is now a
cross-hallway, and the sides extend
back further.
GORDON
And the second floor?
PERIANNE
That's now a u-shaped hallway
around the Sitting room. The lower
level is now more than storage
rooms.
GORDON
How many rooms are we up to?
PERIANNE
We now have twenty-seven rooms,
including a swimming pool, an
astronomy lab and a squash court.
GORDON
I don't know why, but I don't think
this is over.
Perianne checks panels and shakes her head.
PERIANNE
It isn't.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman is excited. Alph watches skeptically.
SHARMAN
I've got a plan, and it kills two
birds with one stone.
ALPH
What are you going to try this
time?
SHARMAN
I'll offer the mine advanced
technology that will exhaust
Earth's resources faster, leaving
none for the great human diaspora
in their twenty-third and fourth
centuries. I'll leave the human
race planet-locked.
ALPH
That would be a real feather in
your cap if you can pull it off.
SHARMAN
Why shouldn't I?
ALPH
Because for some reason, the Doctor
is working at that mine.
SHARMAN
That's the other thing: I'll get a
clear bead on his current
countenance and what's he's doing
here.
ALPH
What if he sees you?
SHARMAN
He's never seen this incarnation.
ALPH
And how do you expect to punish
him? You know he's a vagabond with
no interest in riches.
SHARMAN
I'll gauge that when I get closer
to the situation. Now let's get our
carcasses into some Earth
appropriate clothes.
ALPH
I still say you're playing with
fire.
INT. MINI-T
Gordon is at the railing to the stairs down; Perianne is at
the console.
GORDON
Are things any better here?
PERIANNE
No, the readings still haven't
normalized.
GORDON
I don't want to come back and find
you unconscious again.
PERIANNE
I'll be careful. Promise.
Gordon reluctantly goes into his room to leave.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Beeping starts on the console. Sharman and Alph in human
business suits note it.
ALPH
He's on his way to the mine.
Sharman picks up a devise, an old, metal rectangular box with
a tiny dish on top.
SHARMAN
You're sure this is in working
condition? So little around here
is.
ALPH
I worked on it and ran it through a
series of tests as you asked.
SHARMAN
How about if I take a back up?
ALPH
I'm still working on fixing the
Replicater, so that's the only one.
SHARMAN
Only the one - understood.
EXT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE - DAY
Orienting.
INT. CONYN CHINOWYDD'S OFFICE - DAY
Conyn Chinowydd sits across from Sharman and Alph.
CONYN
What you're describing, Mr.
Sharman, would revolutionize
mining. I would need to see proof
that it does what you say.
SHARMAN
I would be more than glad to go
down into your mine right now to
show you.
Conyn turns on his intercom.
CONYN
Sylvia, cancel my next meeting.
INT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE
Gordon with hard hat is approached by a Worker with a sample.
WORKER
My crew and I hit a vein of this.
The Worker hands Gordon the sample. He looks at it curiously,
even gives it a sniff.
GORDON
I don't know what this is either. A
vein of it you say?
WORKER
Yes. If it turns out to be
valuable, we'll have a bit.
GORDON
I've never seen anything like this
that clusters near copper.
Conyn, Sharman and Alph join them. Alph tries to elbow
Sharman and when he doesn't respond, kicks his shin.
SHARMAN
Wha-?
Alpha subtly points to Gordon while Conyn looks curiously at
the sample.
CONYN
What is that?
GORDON
It was just found; I don't
recognize it by sight.
CONYN
(to Sharman)
Here's your first test.
Sharman pulls out the box with dish atop. Both he and Alph
carefully watch Gordon's reaction. Gordon looks surprised.
ALPH
(below breath)
He recognizes it.
Sharman momentarily falters.
Gordon is surprised not because he recognizes the machine,
but because he recognizes the single symbol on it as possibly
Gallifreyian.
Sharman recoups and turns on the machine, focuses it on the
white sample and looks at the results.
SHARMAN
This is gadolinium, a rare earth
element.
Sharman scans the wall of the mine. He shows the 3D results
to Conyn.
SHARMAN (CONT'D)
Here's the vein - and you can see
it meanders to this larger deposit
over here. This, this and this are
copper veins.
Gordon comes over, looks at the data and image and then looks
at Sharman closely.
GORDON
You say, you invented ground
penetrating isoludium?
Both Sharman and Alph jump at Gordon's description; Gordon,
himself, is surprised by the word he used. Sharman lightly
sweats but stares Gordon down.
ALPH
Indeed, we did.
(to Conyn)
Is this demonstration sufficient?
CONYN
Oh, yes.
SHARMAN
(to Gordon)
Nice to meet you?
GORDON
Dcctor -
Gordon is interrupted by Conyn.
CONYN
Of course I'll have to check your
bonafides, but I want to talk tough
business - about an exclusive
contract.
Sharman acquiesces, and he, Conyn and Alph depart.
EXT. GORDON'S TOWNHOUSE - DAY
A car pulls up, and Myra exits in a fur coat. She checks a
slip of paper and approaches the townhouse at the end,
Gordon's.
She hunts around the front door, under the mat, above the
door jamb and under a rock. She finds the extra key under the
latter, and she lets herself in.
INT. GORDON'S TOWNHOUSE - DAY
Myra looks around curiously, then heads up the stairs.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
Myra enters and looks at the decor. She pulls a champagne
bottle on ice from under the coat and places it on the bed
stand. Then she takes off the coat to reveal a sexy teddy
with matching mini-peignoir. She drapes herself across the
bed.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph are back in their Gallifreyian clothes. Alph
is working beneath the console.
SHARMAN
Are you making any headway with
that Replicater?
ALPH
Some. At least we know what the
Doctor is after.
SHARMAN
What?
ALPH
Gadolinium is an important
component in Tardis
dematerialization. His Tardis must
be stuck.
SHARMAN
Maybe we can steal it as a bonus;
this one's getting by on fumes.
ALPH
That's your problem: you keep
making plans bigger and bigger to
the point you lose control! How are
we going to steal a stuck Tardis?
SHARMAN
No, no. We can do it.
INT. CONYN CHINOWYDD'S OFFICE - DAY
Conyn consults Gordon and Chief Geologist.
CONYN
(to Gordon)
You saw. Tell him what that machine
could do.
GORDON
It's true. It identified the
gadolinium and showed us the
internal structure of that and the
copper veins in 3D and great
detail.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
That's leagues beyond anything we
have now!
CONYN
So much so, I have to wonder if
it's a scam. On the other hand, if
it's legitimate, we could increase
production beyond calculation.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
Set up another demonstration. I
need to see for myself.
CONYN
Yes, and I have Legal looking up
their backgrounds. If this is real,
it will not be a cheap investment.
Conyn looks at a card and dials out.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman is on a small Earth phone; Alph observes.
SHARMAN
(business-like)
Of course! Then tomorrow at two
o'clock. I look forward to meeting
with you again.
Sharman hangs up and changes to gleefully excited.
SHARMAN (CONT'D)
The fish is on the hook! Oh, yes!
ALPH
Curb your optimism. I still can't
get the Replicater on line.
SHARMAN
Then all the more reason to steal
the Doctor's Tardis.
ALPH
No. No. NO! The Doctor didn't know
it was our stash on Pluto. He
doesn't even know we've survived
the Time war. He didn't recognize
either of us, and I'd like to keep
it that way.
SHARMAN
That's our surprise element; he
won't see our take-over coming.
ALPH
You never listen to me. You're
wrong!
SHARMAN
Listen! I have a great plan.
INT. MINI-T
Gordon comes in the main door. Perianne is monitoring the
console.
GORDON
How's our baby?
PERIANNE
Not well. She's building up energy
again.
GORDON
Then she's going to change again.
PERIANNE
Yes, but how do you know that?
You've said several things - does
this growth spurt have you more
connected to the Mini-T?
GORDON
Not that I know. Can I pick your
brain?
PERIANNE
About?
GORDON
A couple of Engineers came in with
a ground penetrating isoludium that
not only identified a substance on
the spot but showed the layout
within the ground down to fine
detail.
PERIANNE
An isoludium? I won't ask where you
got that term. Isn't that far ahead
of where your civilization is?
GORDON
Yes; the output was in 3-D and came
from a box that fits in your hand
with a little dish on top.
PERIANNE
A little dish on top?
GORDON
Yes, and a symbol like this.
Gordon draws with a finger on a pad on the console and what
he draws shows up on the screen: a rough rendition of the
Gallifreyian symbol. Perianne is surprised. Perianne grabs
Gordon's arm and takes him to the -
INT. STORAGE ROOM BEHIND MINI-T CONSOLE
Perianne goes down aisles making several turns. Gordon
follows curiously. Perianne stops at a shelf, peruses for
moment and then takes a box. She opens it and shows it to
Gordon.
Inside the box is a sleeker, more modern version of the
machine Sharman and Alph demonstrated in Conyn's office.
Gordon goes bug-eyed!
GORDON
That's it! - well a more modern
version.
PERIANNE
Older?
Perianne whisks Gordon back down the various aisles -
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. MINI-T
Gordon follows Perianne back to the console, and she types
and pushes buttons. The main screen suddenly shows several
older models of the devise - with thicker bodies and various
dishes.
GORDON
Oh my God! That one.
Gordon points, shocked at seeing it again. He's so shocked
that he doesn't see Perianne is now dumbfounded too.
PERIANNE
Are you sure?
Perianne pulls levers, types and turns a dial.
GORDON
Very.
Perianne studies read out, and then a map comes on the main
screen with a beeping green light.
PERIANNE
You can't hide from a war machine!
GORDON
What?
PERIANNE
Your sales people are from
Gallifrey!
GORDON
Why would someone from your planet
come here to sell advanced
technology?
PERIANNE
I don't know. Desperation? Time
Meddling?
GORDON
That last one?
PERIANNE
There were Time Lords who took
delight in meddling with history -
which is strictly against Galactic
Law.
GORDON
How could that devise alter
history?
PERIANNE
Take the long picture: Excavate
more now because it's easier, and
there are less resources for future
generations - perhaps at some
critical juncture.
GORDON
Whoa! Meaning we could change the
future to our detriment.
Perianne pulls back a door on the console panel and points.
PERIANNE
Put your hands in there; the Mini-T
will put the images of the two men
on the screen.
Gordon puts his hands in the slots.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Picture the meeting in your
father's office.
An image of Sharman and Alph in their human garb with the
machine at the excavation site is seen.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Mini-T, can you match either of
these men?
(to Gordon)
You can remove your hands.
Gordon takes his hands out of the slots.
The Mini-T displays two pictures - the original Time Meddler
and the Doctor's original classmate.
GORDON
That's not them!
PERIANNE
That's their original incarnations.
She hits a couple of buttons and the images transform into, a
couple of other beings, each and then Sharman and Alph.
GORDON
They've been all those people?!
PERIANNE
Yes. The heavier one is a Time
Meddler; the other is a Trader.
GORDON
They're Gallifreyian?
PERIANNE
Yes and trouble.
The Mini-T shudders.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Here we go again.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Alph is still angry.
ALPH
I'm sick to death of you always
putting us at risk. It's like you
want bad things to happen to us.
Sharman half ignores Alph as he makes adjustments to their
Tardis console.
ALPH (CONT'D)
You're not even listening to me!
SHARMAN
My plan is fool-proof and simple.
We land our Tardis inside theirs
and then take them by surprise with
arms.
ALPH
And the Doctor's Tardis has no
defensive system?
SHARMAN
With so few Time Lords, why would
he have it on?
ALPH
Other aliens.
Sharman ignores Alph and fires up their Tardis.
INT. MINI-T
The Mini-T goes into a growth contortion as the Sharman's
Tardis tries to land just out side Gordon's door as an old
armoire. Sharman's Tardis, the armoire, goes into contortions
like everything else.
Both Perianne and Gordon are holding on trying to stay on
their feet and don't see the armoire.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph hang on for dear life a their Tardis console
room contorts like the Mini-T.
ALPH
Get us out of here!
Sharman tries to reach the right button on the control panel
and misses several times before finally hitting it.
Their Tardis central column starts to rise and fall, and as
they depart, they barely feel the ending shudder. As things
normalize -
ALPH (CONT'D)
I told you the Doctor would have a
good defense system.
Sharman slaps Alph's shoulder. Alph's slaps Sharman's arm,
and another slap fight ensues, ending with the resentful
glares.
INT. MINI-T
The shudder ends, and Gordon and Perianne barely find steady
footing when the alarm system goes off. Perianne hastens to a
section of the console and punches some buttons. A beat later
the Main Screen shows the Armoire barely phasing in,
contorting and phasing out.
PERIANNE
They tried to board us!
GORDON
How do they know about this at all?
PERIANNE
Given they landed just outside your
door, I'd say they followed you
home.
GORDON
But why? Do I wreak of time dust?
PERIANNE
You do, but it's hard to believe
that's what they picked up on. Do
you have anything from the Mini-T
on you?
Gordon empties his pockets. He starts with his back pants
pockets - wallet, papers, nothing of interest - but when he
digs deep into front his pants pocket, he pulls out the royal
blue Metebilis crystal he played with on Pluto until Perianne
was shocked by the Shatravargon.
Both Gordon and Perianne are astounded.
At that moment the Mini-T goes through a second change, again
with a small explosion, and both Gordon and Perianne are
thrown to the floor.
.
. END OF ACT II
. ACT III
RESUME
The Mini-T ends it changes with a shudder. Gordon and
Perianne get off the floor.
GORDON
Is this what happened last time?
PERIANNE
Yes.
Gordon picks the Metebilis crystal off the floor.
GORDON
Ohmigod! I totally forgot about
this!
PERIANNE
Where did you get that? That's a
Metebilis crystal!
Perianne rushes to a near-by cupboard and looks though the
contents.
GORDON
I was playing with this in the
underground room. Then you were
shocked by the Shatravargon, and I
never thought about it again.
PERIANNE
That's how they tracked you!
It also explains your astounding
insights.
Perianne extracts what looks to be an injection devise.
GORDON
Why?
PERIANNE
It gives mental clarity. And
prolonged exposure could kill you.
Gordon is shocked by the news, and without warning Perianne
injects Gordon in that moment of processing. He jumps.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
This'll counteract it.
Gordon rubs the injection site but nods.
GORDON
Those guys must be the real power
behind that stash on Pluto if they
could track this.
PERIANNE
That means they know we brought in
the Shadow Proclamation. Given
they're Time Lords, the stash on
Pluto could represent centuries of
stealing.
GORDON
And they just tried to board us!
Perianne checks the console.
PERIANNE
Yes, a type thirty-eight Tardis!
And I thought the Doctor's Tardis
was old!
GORDON
They were coming to steal the Mini
T?
PERIANNE
Looks like it. - Oh! We now have
fifty-four rooms.
Gordon eyes widen.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman is angry. Alph is studying screens on their console.
SHARMAN
What the hell kind of defense was
that?
ALPH
Our Tardis identifies it as a
Tardis growth spurt.
SHARMAN
Well, that can't be right. The
Doctor's Tardis is almost as old as
ours.
ALPH
You speculated that there could be
a new player.
SHARMAN
But no one has a baby Tardis!
Alph can't argue with that.
ALPH
You know, we should leave. The
Doctor's Tardis is bound to
identify us.
SHARMAN
Without our pound of flesh?
ALPH
What's to stop him from having the
Shadow Proclamation waiting for our
next arrival?
SHARMAN
On what grounds?
ALPH
We have outstanding warrants.
Sharman can't argue with that.
SHARMAN
Maybe that's why he didn't do
anything in Conyn Chinowydd's
office - giving us enough rope to
hang ourselves.
ALPH
Let's get out of here!
Sharman looks like he's about to agree. To their shock, their
Tardis fires up under its own power. The two men rush to
their console.
ALPH (CONT'D)
We're being pulled back to the
Doctor's Tardis!
INT. MINI-T
The Mini-T is contorting wildly. Perianne and Gordon hang on
for dear life, and unlike before there are now time glitches
where things run backwards.
Sharman and Alph's Tardis as the armoire starts to phase in
and out on the area next to Gordon's door. It disappears,
then comes back to the point you can't tell if it's landing
or leaving.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
The contorting and shaking has knocked out both Sharman and
Alph.
INT. MINI-T
Sharman and Alph's Tardis materializes fully on the landing
outside Gordon's door. Gordon and Perianne are too shaken up
physically and mentally to notice.
INT. TOWN HOUSE - EVENING
Orienting.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - EVENING
Myra lays strewn seductively across Gordon's bed - sound
asleep.
The room shakes - a by-product of the Mini-T's contortions,
and Myra wakes up.
MYRA
Gordie? Have you come home?
Myra listens and all is quiet. She gets up and puts on the
peignoir over the teddy and very high heels. She pours two
glasses of champagne and heads toward the stairs. She listens
again - still quiet.
Then the room shakes again, and Myra wavers in her very high
heels, but she doesn't spill the champagne.
MYRA (CONT'D)
Wha?
When Myra turns back to the room, she sees the door to the
Mini-T showing! The contortions have disabled the door
protocols. Not really knowing Gordon's room, she initially
ignores it. She downs one of the glasses of champagne and
pouts.
MYRA (CONT'D)
Oh, Gordie. Come home!
INT. MINI-T
Perianne and Gordon clear their heads and check their bruises
and minor contusions.
GORDON
Is this over?
PERIANNE
No that wasn't the growth
explosion.
The Mini-T does a ripple toward change that includes a burst
of light then reverses. The Mini-T shudders.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM
The flash with the false start on the Mini-T's growth comes
through a "crack" along the door's bottom, and it catches
Myra's attention.
MYRA
Gordie?
There's another shudder. Myra pushes on the door, and it
gives!
Myra hastens back and refills the one champagne glass. She
then returns to the door and goes through.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph clear their heads. Sharman has dislocated
his right arm. Alph has a gash on his shoulder that bleeds at
a good rate.
SHARMAN
Where are we?
Alph ignores his bloody shoulder and consults the console.
With a grimace, Sharman forces his arm back into its socket.
ALPH
We're in the Doctor's Tardis.
Alph puts on the view screen. They see -
INT. MINI-T
Myra in her scanty outfit with two glasses of champagne has
come through the door next to the armoire. She takes a sip of
one glass of champagne and is clearly tipsy. She giggles.
MYRA
Mrs. Doctor Gor-
(giggles again)
Mrs. Doctor - oooh! I like that!
(outward more loudly)
Gordie-love, are you down here?
Gordon and Perianne below orient upward, seeing both Myra and
the armoire. They're both stunned.
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman and Alph are in rapt attention with Myra.
SHARMAN
Va-va-va-voom! Now that's a woman!
ALPH
Nice ass!
SHARMAN
Who knew the Doctor could get -
funky? Exquisite rack!
ALPH
His wife?
SHARMAN
Dressed like that? But she's in
strong running if he gave her
access to the Tardis. So -
Sharman and Alph despite their injuries are similarly struck
and chorus in excitement -
SHARMAN AND ALPH
Let's kidnap her!
INT. MINI-T
Myra sees Gordon below.
MYRA
There you are! You bad boy. I've
been waiting for you.
GORDON
Myra? How? -
Sharman and Alph emerge from the armoire behind Myra with
futuristic guns, and Gordon and Perianne see; Myra doesn't.
But before Gordon can react, the Mini-T spasms and torques.
Myra sends champagne flying as she grabs for a railing, one
goblet showering Sharman and Alph.
The two men have to grab onto the armoire and railings to
stay upright as well, and Alph drops his weapon in the
process.
The shaking becomes so severe that Myra is shaken lose and is
tossed against Sharman in a full body slam, breasts leading
right into his face. Sharman who's trying to hold onto the
railing with one hand and the gun in the other, loses his
grip on the railing momentarily from Myra's impact and flails
to regain it. That makes him too late to grab Myra - although
he tries, and the Mini-T's continued contortions throw her
against the armoire next to Alph who's hanging on.
The next contortion starts to throw Myra over the landing
railing, but Alph lets go of the armoire, grabs Myra and
grabs the railing, keeping her from going over. He ends up
with her butt in his face.
Then the ripple of change begins and a moment later there is
a bright explosion followed by a shudder. When the light
recedes, the armoire is still there, but Sharman, Alph and
Myra have disappeared.
Gordon and Perianne gawk from below.
.
. END OF ACT III
. ACT IV
RESUME
Gordon looks at Perianne.
GORDON
Did you see that?
PERIANNE
Where did they go?
Perianne rushes to the console and then halts abruptly.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Everything's in normal range!
GORDON
Where did Myra and the two Time
Lords go? They had guns!
Perianne goes to a different section of the console and
looks.
PERIANNE
Great! This gauge is still
fluctuating.
INT. RECESSES OF THE MINI-T
Sharman with his gun, Alph without and Myra materialize in a
nondescript bulkhead hallway. All three are on the floor
apart. One by one they get up and look around.
MYRA
Where am I?
From behind her -
ALPH
Where's our Tardis?
Myra turns around, doesn't see Sharman's gun and in her
lightly inebriated state gratefully puts an arm on Alph's
shoulder. She recognizes Alph and hugs him
MYRA
You're the one who saved me during
the earthquake. Thank you!
Where did Gordie go?
Sharman quickly hides his gun.
SHARMAN
Is Gordie for your pet name for the
Doctor?
MYRA
(grinning broadly)
Oh, yes. I'm going to be Mrs.
Doctor!
SHARMAN
We're friends of the Doc- Gordie,
and we'll help you find him.
Myra hugs Sharman broadly to his delight even though his
recently dislocated arm hurts like crazy.
MYRA
Oh, thank you.
ALPH
(voce soto)
How do we find the Tardis?
SHARMAN
(under his breath)
I haven't a clue. We can't even be
sure it's where we left it.
(to Myra)
It's not the shortest walk, but we
can have fun with it.
Sharman pulls out a flask. Myra smiles and raises the one
champagne glass she's still holding.
INT. MINI-T
Perianne frantically tries to search for Myra et al on
various screens on the console. Gordon checks another screen.
GORDON
Anything?
PERIANNE
Not really; scanning hasn't fully
settled down.
GORDON
The layout has become complicated.
There are so many more places to
look.
PERIANNE
We're at eighty-one rooms and a
park!
GORDON
Will they hurt her?
PERIANNE
I don't think so. - Wait! This is
clearing. They're on the lower
level about to enter the park.
GORDON
Is there a way to transfer them
here?
Perianne goes to another screen.
PERIANNE
Normally yes, but the fine
electronics seems to be settling in
last.
GORDON
Then let's go after them!
PERIANNE
One, we would get quickly lost and
two, we'd end up in what - a gun
fight?
GORDON
Then how do we do this more
cleverly?
PERIANNE
Not sure.
EXT. PARK INSIDE THE MINI-T - DAY
The bulkhead gives way to a park and even in her snockered
state, Myra reacts.
MYRA
Alphie, where did a park come
from?!
SHARMAN
(vying for her attention)
When you're with us, magical things
happen.
MYRA
Oh Sharmie, how nice of you!
Myra kisses Sharman on the cheek. He beams. Myra then gives
Alph a quick kiss as well.
MYRA (CONT'D)
I've traveled a lot, and for the
first time in ages, I feel like I'm
seen something fresh - a real park
inside a
(looks back at the
bulkhead)
- ship.
ALPH
You like to travel?
MYRA
Love it!
SHARMAN
Here's to traveling...
Sharman takes a swig from the flask and passes it to Myra.
INT. MINI-T
Perianne studies the console with Gordon looking over her
shoulder.
PERIANNE
We can do within Mini-T travel now.
GORDON
Can we bring them to us?
PERIANNE
Not yet, but because the main power
is in this room we can go to them.
GORDON
Get me a gun.
PERIANNE
No. Stunner.
Perianne goes to a drawer along the edge of the console room
and pulls out a gun and gives it to Gordon.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
I'm not happy about this.
GORDON
Given they have real guns...
Perianne nods in acquiescence.
PERIANNE
We transfer in ten...
INT. PARK INSIDE THE MINI-T
Myra with Sharman and Alph to each side of her laughs as they
wander down the park path. They come across a box on a pole.
SHARMAN
It's about time!
ALPH
A transfer box!
(to Myra)
Are you ready for more magic?
Sharman opens the box. At first the panel shows no power, and
then the power comes on. Sharman looks relieved.
MYRA
Oh, yes!
SHARMAN
Where do you wish to be?
MYRA
Where I last saw Gordie.
SHARMAN
Your wish is my command...
Sharmin presses a button, and the three of them disappear.
And a second later Perianne and Gordon materialize.
PERIANNE
Where are they? They should be
right here?
Perianne consults her watch.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
They're no where near here!
Gordon spies the open box on the pole. It no longer shows
power again.
GORDON
What's this?
Perianne sees and gets agitated. She scans it with her watch
and is more upset.
PERIANNE
Our transfer energy took them to
the control room!
INT. MINI-T
Sharman, Myra and Alph materialize on the landing next to the
armoire, which is now shiny new, but no one notices. Sharman
and Alph are notably relieved; Myra is excited like a child.
MYRA
You made my wish come true! But
where's Gordie? There really is
magic!
ALPH
I don't know, but I, for one, want
to get out of here.
SHARMAN
We're using this vehicle.
ALPH
Do you really want to be here if
this thing starts contorting and
exploding again?
SHARMAN
(hesitates a long beat)
You've got a good point.
(to Myra)
If you like Gordie's magical box,
would you like to see ours?
MYRA
You have a magical box?
SHARMAN
It's a bit older and shabbier, but
you'll see.
Sharman points to the armoire. Myra giggles.
MYRA
You want me to get in that with
both of you?
(looks at the two guys)
That might be fun.
The two men do get her vision of the three of them in a real
armoire and grin.
ALPH
We'll have to try that - but later.
SHARMAN
First more magic and then magical
travel.
MYRA
You can travel magically? Is it all
sparkley?
ALPH
No. It's very old and magical.
MYRA
Oh! Like Harry Potter...
The two men miss the reference. Sharman opens the doors to
the armoire and steps in -
INT. SHINY TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
As they walk in with Myra, Sharman and Alph finally see the
newness. They're shocked and happily surprised. Their type 38
Tardis is still a type 38 - but it's brand new. The energy
from the Mini-T's growth spurt refurbished it. And it's so
new it almost sparkles.
MYRA
It's big! And it does sparkle! A
magic coach!
ALPH
You aren't kidding!
SHARMAN
You wanted sparkly? So we changed
it just for you.
Alph is busy at the console, clearly excited how everything
works. Their Tardis fires up with a bit smoother noise than
the usual Tardis noise. Myra kisses each of the men on the
cheek, but it's a hint more intimate.
ALPH
What would you like to see?
MYRA
Blow my mind.
SHARMAN
Mind-blowing scenery coming up.
Alph pulls out a bottle of something from under their console
and offers Myra another drink.
ALPH
To celebrate magical travel.
INT. MINI-T
The shiny armoire disappears off the landing with it's bit
smoother sound. A beat later, Perianne and Gordon re
materialize. They look up and see the armoire is gone.
GORDON
Where did they go?
Perianne rushes to their console, flips several levers and
looks at a screen.
PERIANNE
In the direction of Cassiopeia.
(to the Mini-T)
Baby - no, young lady, are you
ready for your first intergalactic
flight?
A green light comes on. Perianne makes adjustments at the
console, and the Mini-T's hum is heard and the colored lights
on their central blade run.
INT. SHINY TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
Sharman, Myra and Alph stand in the Tardis door looking out.
Myra has an arm around each man's waist, and they each have
an arm around her waist ending each with their hands on one
of her buttocks.
EXT. OUTER SPACE IN CASSIOPEIA
The shiny can hovers in front of an amazing nebula, Myra has
a tear running down her face.
MYRA
This is the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
Sharman and Alph beam as Myra squeezes them both. Then she
yawns.
MYRA (CONT'D)
(petulant)
I don't want to get sleepy! You
boys are so much fun. Would you be
my cuddlies and take a nap with me?
Sharman and Alph can't agree fast enough.
EXT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE - DAY
Orienting.
INT. CONYN CHINOWYDD'S OFFICE - DAY
Conyn and Chief Geologist confer across Conyn's desk.
CONYN
Where's Gordon?
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
It's one of his day's off.
CONYN
Damn it. I wanted him here for this
meeting.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
If I may ask, what did legal say?
CONYN
What they could find was solid, but
there was little enough, they had
'unspecific concerns.'
INT. MINI-T
The Cassiopeia constellation is on the Main Screen. Gordon
looks almost as in awe as Myra did.
GORDON
I've not only left the Solar
system; I've left the Milky Way!
PERIANNE
It's my first time here, too. Where
are they?
Perianne works furiously at the console.
GORDON
Can they hide their presence?
PERIANNE
No; it's just a big constellation.
This could take some time.
INT. FEMININE BEDROOM SHARMAN'S TARDIS
Sharman lies with his head on Myra's breast, a happy look on
his face. Myra has her arms around him. From behind Alph is
"spoons" with Myra with his arms around her, also looking
happy. Myra is very soundly asleep. Whispered -
SHARMAN
Alph, we've got to get up.
ALPH
I don't wanna. I like right where I
am.
SHARMAN
Me too, but it doesn't change that
we have to get up and go meet with
Conyn Chinowydd.
ALPH
No!
Sharman slaps Alph on his arm. Alph is about get into one of
their slap fights when Myra stirs. The two men gently
extricate themselves from her.
ALPH (CONT'D)
What if she wakes while we're gone?
SHARMAN
She's going to sleep for hours.
ALPH
After the meeting, let's go
somewhere that's beautiful, so when
Myra wakes up we have a surprise
for her.
SHARMAN
Remind me later. Right now let's
change history.
INT. MINI-T
Perianne flips through data as seen by information flying by
on the main screen. Suddenly she stops; Gordon orients.
PERIANNE
Found them!
Perianne fires up the Mini-T with one eye to the Main Screen.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
We'll be there in three, two- Wait!
They've disappeared.
GORDON
No!
PERIANNE
I don't know how they sensed us,
but they're gone!
INT. CONYN CHINOWYDD'S OFFICE - DAY
Conyn sits at his desk. Chief Geologist shakes hands with
Sharman and Alph, again back in Earth garb.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
How nice to-
Conyn interrupts.
CONYN
Let's get down to business. Will
you show my Chief Geologist what
your machine can do?
SHARMAN
Of course. In fact we brought along
our latest prototype.
Alph pulls out two newer looking devices with the antenna
dish on top. Conyn is very impressed. Chief Geologist isn't
sure what to make of it.
SHARMAN (CONT'D)
(below his breath)
Nothing like having a working
Replicater again!
.
. END OF ACT IV
ACT V
INT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE
Sharman watches with delight as Chief Geologist looks in awe
at the readings the machine produces. Chief Geologist points
the machine at various places along the mine wall and marvels
at the results. Conyn and Alph look on.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
Incredible! We could up production
by several hundred percent!
SHARMAN
Easily.
CONYN
Why are you willing to partner with
us?
ALPH
We had to approach someone for
proof of concept. Of course, we'll
want to sell our devise to other
mine owners if our test run with
you goes well.
SHARMAN
But we can't ask you to be part of
it only for the test phase. So
you're in - on the ground level -
by giving us the opportunity to
prove our machine works.
ALPH
We'll send you a formal contract
where you get seventeen percent of
the company and future profits.
Conyn looks very interested; Sharman can hardly hide his
glee.
EXT. OUTER SPACE, PLANET OF THE RAINBOW RINGS
Sharman and Alph's Tardis hangs over a Saturn-like planet
which has rings that look like a rainbow circling the planet.
Sharman and Alph have created a deck in front of the Tardis
door with three lounge chairs. There is a table with
pancakes, toast and other Earth breakfast foods, and Sharman
pours liquor into the orange juice.
Alph exits the Tardis with Myra, hands over her eyes. She's
now in a mini dress with a very revealing neckline.
MYRA
You say this is better than last
night?
ALPH
Decide for yourself.
Myra opens her eyes and is wowed by the sight of the ringed
planet.
MYRA
Oh, Alphie. It's gorgeous! Like
something out of a fairy tale.
Sharman hands Myra a glass of orange juice, and she drinks
liberally.
SHARMAN
And breakfast is awaiting...
Myra looks at the spread.
MYRA
You boys are the best!
Myra hugs Sharman, then Alph, both with a hint of seduction.
The two men are thrilled.
INT. MINI-T
Perianne is frustrated. Gordon commiserates.
PERIANNE
Now, they're in Draco, but if they
sensed us last time. I'm not sure
there's much we can do.
GORDON
Anything else in the Time Stinger
fighter array that we can use?
PERIANNE
(lighting up)
Yes, there is! Track lock.
Perianne starts programming at the console while also
starting the Mini-T.
EXT. OUTER SPACE, PLANET OF THE RAINBOW RINGS
Sharman and Alph mix drinks out of earshot of Myra who is
taking selfies with the planet in the background. None the
less they speak in hushed tones.
ALPH
We've just about run this into the
ground. What do we do next to keep
her interest?
SHARMAN
I don't know. What would we
normally do?
ALPH
Go to a club.
SHARMAN
(brightens)
We can show her clubs she's never
dreamed of!
Alph carries the tray with three drinks, and Sharman follows
him to Myra.
ALPH
Myra, would you be interested in
going to a club? We know some
interesting ones.
MYRA
Oh, yes! I love clubbing! I've seen
every famous club on Earth.
SHARMAN
We know some great ones - off the
beaten path.
MYRA
We're so on the same wavelength!
INT. MINI-T
Perianne hits a key with finality. Gordon watches.
PERIANNE
There! All we have to do is
encounter their time stream again,
and they'll be a fish on a line.
Thanks for reminding me about this.
Gordon is about to respond when at a different part of the
console a beeping starts. Perianne goes over and looks.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Got them! They're at the - Planet
of the Rainbow Rings?
GORDON
Why the question mark?
PERIANNE
The Planet of the Rainbow Rings was
a place where young people from
Gallifrey went to - to make out.
GORDON
They're trying to seduce her?
PERIANNE
(shrugs)
We'll know in four, three - and
again they're gone! But we've got a
track lock.
INT. POND CLUB - NIGHT
The back wall has the band, but the rest of the club is a
huge, three to four foot deep pool with "islands," navigated
by small bridges, and food is served via little, silent
boats. There is a huge "island" for dancing, two moderate
islands with bars and many smaller islands of varying sizes
for tables for varying numbers of beings. The music is
upbeat, but alien.
Each island that's table seating is an open clam-like shell
of varying colors with sparkle and glitter, and the bridges
have little lights play off the water.
The clientele is something out of the bazaar on Akhatten - a
plethora of alien races.
Sharman and Alph a little better dressed than usual and Myra
in a mini-cocktail dress and very high heels with her hands
over her eyes enter opposite the band.
MYRA
I like the music...
SHARMAN
Open your eyes.
Myra complies and looks around in awe.
MYRA
This is the coolest club I've ever
seen! You two are magical!
Myra hugs the two men who grin.
MYRA (CONT'D)
Can we grab a table near the dance
floor?
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. POND CLUB - NIGHT
Myra dances with Alph on the dance island, Sharman watching
from a nearby island/table.
Perianne and Gordon enter from the front. Gordon gawks.
GORDON
Omigod! My first time out of my
galaxy, and it really looks like
Star Wars!
The comment goes over Perianne's head.
PERIANNE
They're here!
(looks at her watch)
There.
Perianne points; she and Gordon see Myra dancing with Alph.
PERIANNE (CONT'D)
Gordon, I don't think she's been
kidnapped.
GORDON
But the guns.
PERIANNE
Look!
Perianne and Gordon make their way to Alph and Myra. The song
ends, and Alph and Myra go back to their island table with
Sharman.
Perianne and Gordon arrive a moment after Alph and Myra sit.
The latter are shocked to see Perianne and Gordon.
MYRA
Gordie! You know about this club?
GORDON
Myra, are you all right?
MYRA
All right? Oh! After the
earthquake, I couldn't find you,
but I'm fine.
GORDON
And these two guys?
MYRA
They rescued me. And Gordie,
they're travelers like me. They
know travel spots - like this - no
agent has ever offered me! I'm
having the time of my life.
Gordon is a touch confused by the turn of events, and Myra
interprets it narcissistically.
MYRA (CONT'D)
Oh, Gordie. I'm sorry. I'm not
really ready to settle down as nice
as it would be to be Mrs. Doctor.
GORDON
I'll get over it, Myra.
SHARMAN
Doctor, I appreciate your civility -
especially given our history.
Gordon frowns. Perianne steps behind him and whispers.
PERIANNE
He thinks you're THE Doctor; play
along.
GORDON
Losing Myra is a great blow -
devastating - but I can't force her
feelings. You win this round.
The grin on Sharman's face is huge.
GORDON (CONT'D)
Take good care of her.
Sharman and Alph nod. Gordon turns to leave with Perianne.
GORDON (CONT'D)
(quietly)
God help the Universe!
Perianne and Gordon leave. As soon as they're out of sight.
Sharman and Alph hug each other and jump up and down. After
that they grab Myra and jump up and down again.
SHARMAN
I finally beat the Doctor! Now for
the icing on the cake: finish off
planet Earth.
ALPH
No! No! NO! For once stop while
we're ahead!
MYRA
What about Earth?
SHARMAN
(to Alph)
But we're going to win there, too!
ALPH
You really think the Doctor is
going to let us win two in a row?
Sharman does pause.
MYRA
Sharmie, what about Earth?
SHARMAN
We have an invention we're trying
to sell.
MYRA
Oh! We have to take good care of
Earth. My Daddy's there. He's very
rich and pays all my traveling
expenses. He'll help us whenever we
need it.
Sharman lights up. He raises his glass.
SHARMAN
I love you even more!
(to Alph)
To leaving Earth as it is.
Alph and Myra clink glasses with Sharman.
ALPH
Between Myra and the new Tardis, we
came out ahead!
SHARMAN
(grudingly)
You're right.
MYRA
And I've found the two best men in
the universe. Let's celebrate!
Sharman, Alph and Myra toast again.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SHINY TARDIS CONTROL ROOM
A a reak armoire is seen, and Myra's giggling can be heard
(O.S.) within.
INT. MINI-T
Gordon is still shaking his head as Perianne takes off.
GORDON
This has been too weird.
PERIANNE
I love that the Mini-T had a chance
to try her intergalactic skills.
GORDON
Yes, we did go intergalactic today.
PERIANNE
You do have one more loose end.
GORDON
Me?
PERIANNE
Yes. You have to get your father to
believe the machine they offered
isn't viable.
GORDON
How? I got a text saying the second
meeting went wonderfully. The Chief
Geologist got to play with the
machine at length.
PERIANNE
I have an idea...
INT. CONYN CHINOWYDD'S OFFICE - DAY
Conyn and Chief Geologist look over papers, both grinning
broadly.
CONYN
Legal only wants a few cursory
changes. This looks like a great
vic-
There is an urgent knocking on his door.
CONYN (CONT'D)
Yes, yes. Come in.
Gordon enters carrying a Geiger counter. He also has on a
radiation monitoring badge, and it's glowing green. He
casually brushes his hand across Chief Geologist's back as he
passes him to get tho Conyn; a small powdery poof is seen.
GORDON
I hope you haven't signed those
papers..
Gordon puts down the Geiger counter, and removes his
radiation badge and places it before his father, Conyn.
CONYN
What?
GORDON
I failed the radiation test this
morning! Look.
Gordon taps his father's back as he points to the badge.
Another little dust cloud is seen.
CONYN
How?
GORDON
The badge ended up against my skin.
CONYN
It read you instead of the
environment?
GORDON
Yes, I've been exposed to
radiation, and none of the people I
work with have.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
What?! You think -
Gordon turns on the Geiger counter. He scans his father: a
dial swings up and the machine's whining upticks.
CONYN
That's me!?
Gordon reads Chief Geologist and the machine screeches.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
Am I going to die?
GORDON
I don't know. But I think it's tied
to that invention. We're the only
three who touched it.
CONYN
This is outrageous!
GORDON
We have the tests in our med unit.
Let's see how bad this is.
INT. PARYS MOUNTAIN MINE, MEDICAL BAY - DAY
Because mining accidents are not infrequent, it's well
stocked. Perianne with red wig with big bangs, glasses and a
Nurse outfit administers a blood test on the three men, Conyn
first, then Chief Geologist and then Gordon. She subtly works
to keep herself out of direct sight of Conyn and Chief
Geologist.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
How quickly will we know?
PERIANNE
(using a different voice)
In a matter of minutes.
Perianne goes to the side with the blood samples and puts
them in slots in a centrifuge. She turns on the machine, and
a whirring is heard. Conyn checks his cell phone.
CONYN
They aren't returning my calls.
CHIEF GEOLOGIST
What a shame that marvelous machine
has such a flaw.
CONYN
Agreed.
GORDON
It looks like you were right,
Father. Anything that looks too
good to be true usually is.
Conyn loves being told he was right. Perianne rejoins the
group. She reads from a clipboard.
PERIANNE
None of you has had a dose you
can't recover from. Just stay away
from further exposure.
Conyn and Chief Geologist look relieved; Gordon feigns the
same.
GORDON
Thanks, Nurse.
CONYN
Well, thank goodness for that.
Conyn, Geologist and Gordon move out. As they leave -
CONYN (CONT'D)
(to Gordon)
This is a big one in the column to
promote you to Junior Geologist.
INT. I-LIFE CAFE, OLD NOOK
Gordon and Perianne are alone at their usual table. He has a
drink, she a Shirley Temple. Gordon downs the drink.
GORDON
I needed that! Running after that
ditzy Myra when she was fine!
PERIANNE
It says what a good friend you are.
GORDON
What do we tell the others?
PERIANNE
That she found new people to travel
with and realized that was what she
really wanted.
GORDON
Oh, the truth.
Perianne laughs. Wynn and Elaine Rose join Perianne and
Gordon. Elaine Rose is animated. Both have brought drinks
from the bar.
ELAINE ROSE
What happened with Myra?
GORDON
She found new people to travel with
and is off again.
ELAINE ROSE
I know that! Her new friends are
quite the photographic geniuses.
WYNN
You need to see these, Gordon. They
look unbelievably real!
Perianne and Gordon look at Elaine Rose's phone with
trepidation.
The phone shows a selfie with the Myra and Sharman in front
of the nebulae, another with her in front of the planet of
rainbow rings, several with her in the Pond cantina, another
with her and Alph skiing turquoise snow with a tan sky in the
background.
GORDON
You're right, these look amazingly
real!
ELAINE ROSE
She thinks it is from her texts.
GORDON
(to Perianne quietly)
Yet, something she said makes me
wonder if she even realizes she's
left Earth.
Perianne shakes her head.
GORDON (CONT'D)
(louder to everyone)
As long as she's happy and not
after me!
ELAINE ROSE
Here, here!
Perianne, Gordon, Wynn and Elaine Rose toast.
.
. THE END